( His smile only widens the more this guy rattles off questions. Using two fingers pressed together, he delicately touches the vanilla latte's saucer and moves it to the side of the table. )

Firstly? We're gonna take it easy on the caffeine for a moment. Secondly, no, that's only basic invitation etiquette. If you invite someone out, you pay. Everyone knows that.

( His coffee is brought over and without missing a beat he slips into a deep-fried Texan accent as he thanks the waitress for her speedy service and, darlin', would you be so kiiind as to leave us in peace a spell? Much obliged. She scampers off with a noticeable flush to her cheeks. With her departure goes the accent. )

But now I wonder: what are you into that that's the first thing you suspect?